Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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