she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
