hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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