I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize