I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
