I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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