I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
