OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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