Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i think my cat just said my name.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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