It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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