why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
