Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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