I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
