you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize