Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
