did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize