she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
