I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
