did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
