not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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