hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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