You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
