That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
