everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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