party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
