i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
