No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
