listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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