My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
