Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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