Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize