Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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