oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
