I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize