operation have a gay friend backfired
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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