Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
