my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize