omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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