Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize