So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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