Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
