a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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