Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So squirting runs in the family.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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