So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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