Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
