so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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