Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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