Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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