and you said cock pushups were impossible
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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