I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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