is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
