u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
