We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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