Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I am one with the molecules
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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