Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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