"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize