Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
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