OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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