ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
