i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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