Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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