Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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