i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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