the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
