Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
