The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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