yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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