apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
