I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
