also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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