I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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