i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
