So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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