I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
