I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh god it's open bar.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
