id be glad to
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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